WHAT WAS SHE THINKING?

— Submitted Anonymously

One afternoon, I decided to go to Starbucks and study. Ironically, the noise and flow of people boost my concentration. On that particular afternoon, it was getting dark quite early and it was around 30 degrees outside. Starbucks was packed as everyone huddled for warmth, and only one seat remained. I rushed to the empty seat and began studying. After five minutes of copiously studying my notes, a mutual friend approached me. We noticed the man to my right frantically staring at us. He would look down at his laptop ever so often, and just when he thought we weren’t looking, he would stare again. The second my friend left, he started asking questions. He asked them with an air of familiarity as if he’s done this before... 

First he started with innocuous questions: “What are you doing?” “What are you studying?” but suddenly these questions morphed from nonchalant and seemingly friendly inquiries to intrusive, personal questions. He asked how old I was, what my name was, where I went to school, and so on. I was too naive, too kind, too oblivious to understand what was going on. I always saw the good in people; I never noticed or wanted to notice the evil. Nonetheless, I should have. Within seconds, I answered all of his questions. To those reading this article thinking “what was she thinking?” or better yet “why would she do that?” The only answer I have for you is that sometimes it’s easier to assume the best than face the harsh realities of being a girl. This, of course, is the wrong approach to take, but when you are young and naive, the world implores you to see the good in everyone. 

“To those reading this article thinking “what was she thinking?” or better yet “why would she do that?” The only answer I have for you is that sometimes it’s easier to assume the best than face the harsh realities of being a girl. This, of course, is the wrong approach to take, but when you are young and naive, the world implores you to see the good in everyone. ”

Suddenly, an overwhelmingly alarming, yet persistent feeling came over me. I felt sick. I was shaking, yet I didn’t know why. “He hasn’t done anything to me,” I kept thinking. I truly believe this feeling saved me that night. I called one of my friends and pretended they were my dad. I texted my dad and told him he had to pick me up ASAP. The second I got off the phone, this man touched my hand and offered to buy me a drink. I was petrified. I was confused. I was scared. I thought this was my fault. Can you believe that? I thought that I did something, or was wearing something that could’ve elicited this reaction from him.  No one should ever feel like that-ever. I was about to run, but then I thought- what if he follows me? So, I continued to sit inside, acting like everything was fine. Isn’t it crazy how easily we can deceive others and act like everything is fine. From the outside, I appeared devoid of fear and anguish, but I was quite the opposite. 

Soon enough, my dad arrived, and I jumped in the car. I went to sleep that night with the strangest feeling. I was mad at myself. Why didn’t I say something? Why didn’t I ask for help? I came to the conclusion that I didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable. So, instead I allowed myself to feel uncomfortable. 

The next day I went to school and told my friends about the events that transpired the evening before. One friend asked me to describe his appearance and lo and behold, he had tormented her too. He followed her to her car and screamed obscene things at her. He called her beautiful, and when she didn’t respond, he started following her and screaming things such as: “You’re supposed to be thankful” and “You’re a hoe,” and she, too, was mortified. 

A couple of days later, I was sitting with my friends at a cafe, and in walks this guy. He smiled at me and said “Hi.” I felt powerless. I felt voiceless. In walks this man, who goes about his daily life, knowing he torments so many girls… and he just gets away with it. He relishes in the fact that we, the girls he preys on, choke at the grasp of fear when he appears. His ego feeds off our fear, he savors this power as it’s the only power he holds.

However, this power he holds can so easily be destroyed, and I will tell you how. Lead selfishly when you are uncomfortable. Do not assume the best intentions — be rude and walk away. Trust that innate feeling that we, as humans, all possess and do not- under any circumstance- neglect it. Use your voice, and make them feel uncomfortable. When you make them feel uncomfortable, you suddenly become the one in power and they become powerless.